Friday, August 24, 2012

Happy BirthedtotheWorld Day!!!

Isn't that the cutest hood ornament for newlyweds? (I almost stole it today at the Temple!)



I'm 41 years old today.

(Thank you Jesus! Seriously. Thank YOU Jesus.)

40 was a year of growing & I don't gotta tell y'all that GROWING isn't so easy or fun or a piece of cake. Growing is damn hard work. Like just about everything else in my life.

This past year of my life took me way the hell out of my comfort zones - which I get is what growing does to a person.
Me & My not so Mini-Me's 8/23/12

I grew past my anxiety, past my fears & way waaaaaaaaaaay past my anger.

I started writing last year when I turned 40. And published what I wrote. It'd been literally 10 years since I'd written more than a grocery shopping list. Writing terrified me. I was unable to do it without having a complete & total fwaking meltdown. Which made no sense to me since I used to get paid to write (and write and write)

I also started to seriously start training & running & weight lifting. (That didn't stick so well but it's a work in progress). 40 brought me to my personal best running time: A 9 minute 36 second mile. (Never mind that I haven't hit that since then - I did it once & I'm damned proud of that!) At 40 years old, I was finally FINALLY able to to bench press 150lbs. (Never mind again that as of today I can only 75 lbs. That's what happens when you slack off). The weight room & its many steel plates & weighted machines & free weights intimidated me for many years. To me, it was that place where real athletes go & I was just a fat girl vacationing impersonating a potentially serious runner/trainer/athlete. (I'm over that now.) 40 also gave me my lowest & highest weight on the scale since 2008. (I've accepted the scale is not broken, it is not my friend & I'm going to shatter it into tiny pieces as a gift to myself later today. *shrugs* Who knows? I may even BBQ it)

I became legally employed by the State of Hawaii Dept. of Education at 40 years old. Wow. Seriously. Who'd ever thought of all the employment options I have available to me that I'd wind up as a State employee in DOE? Well, at least thank you Jesus (that's one of my favorite sayings!) I'm not a teacher. (I don't have the stamina for it. It's true. I don't.) And Thank you again Jesus for letting me have a paid job!

At 40, I learned to forgive & accept that I love someone who loves me too but is currently married, devoted & deeply in love with his wife & children. He is without a doubt, a genetically terminally stupid man. (He can't help it.) I mean really? What smart cookie wants to openly admit that she's in love with a chicken-shit idiot? He's like a combination of the cowardly lion & the scarecrow. It's just not cool.

(As a sidenote: I think my Ex is one of those flying dingo-monkeys in the Wizard of Oz. You know, the Wicked Witch of the West's ugly pets. I can't decide which character I am. Hehehehehehe... I won't melt if you throw water on me!)

Timing is everything.

And I plan on being the right girl at the right place at the right time for the right man for me. (Which I am going to qualify right here & now - may not be the aforementioned loveofmylife. It could some other man. As in some other not married but so damn rich he makes other rich men wish they could be as rich as him sort of rich man. Yeah, that man. Maybe I'll marry that man instead.)

And finally, on the last day of being 40 years old, in the last hour of the day & just to add drama - right to the last damn minute before I turned 41 years old but certainly after I ate my last doughnut....

I.Cut.All.My.Hair.Off.

All of it. Every single last strand of it. It's gone. And I'm glad. I always wanted to do it . For myself. Because whatthefuck? its hair? So its gone.

Of my boys, Katzu freaked out the most. He's still freaking out as I type this. He's hoping I'll wrap my head up because he's afraid the kids will tease him. I told him, "We don't care what other people think or say or do. We care what we think. We care what we do. All we can control in our lives, is ourselves. What other people think of us, is none of our damn business."

Which totally went over his happy head of hair & out the window. I'm sure nothing I said made sense to him & he's hoping & praying no one will make fun of him. You know, because he has a weird Mom. *rolls my eyeballs*

So far, I've shocked just about everyone. Including my neighbors who stopped walking to stare at me like I'd sprouted a secondary head instead of just shaved my hair off. *laughs*

(Looks to me like 41 is going to be hellafwacking awesome!)

I'm 41 years old today & this is a beautiful thing to be.

With love love love & delicious bald heads & big birthday hugs & kisses~
Cy.

PS Did I mention I got a tattoo? *laughs* Temporary of course.

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