I've had a rolling couple of days this week & a rolling couple of weeks this month. Mostly its all been rolling right on over me.
*bitch*scream*rant*twit angry tweets*cry*pray*repeat all over again*
But today, right in this minute - I really had to stop & look & see what it is I'm so hurt & angry about. And even if I believe or feel justified in my hurts, who am I really hurting by holding on to this anger & pain?
Me. I hurt me the most.
So some people are going to be assholes. *shrugs* that happens. I have no control over what other people do. All I have control over is what I do with what I've been given.
We can only roll with it - our only real choice is are we gonna roll along merrily or bitchily?
(I admit, I've been rolling rather bitchily. and tearfully. and angrily.)
It occurred to me that all of us have crap that hurts us. How do you get through it? Or over it? Or passed it?
Gratitude. What a magic word. Gratitude.
Once you start looking at what you do have, what you don't have doesn't matter. Gratitude puts obstacles & crap into proper perspective. The BIG problems become little. The MOUNTAINS become anthills.
And I have so very very very much to be grateful for.
So let's count my blessings, okay?
I thank God for my life, my body, my health & my mind. I thank God for my children that they are also happy & healthy & here with me. I thank God for my family & my close friends who love me & let me rant like a crazy lady whenever I need too. I thank God for Mother Hubbard, that my children & I can live with her & laugh with her. I thank God for this home we live in because hey! we could be homeless. I thank God for the food we have because again hey! we could be starving. I thank God for the laughter of all the children at Laie Elementary. What a beautiful gift they've given me. I thank God that 3 different people stopped to talk to me today about themselves, about what's troubling them & that they felt better after someone just listened to them. I thank God that my Bestie sent me chocolates last week. I thank God that my sister called me last week. I thank God that my sister of the heart sent my son a birthday present in the mail. I thank God that Sim is patient & kind with me being so cross & crabby. I thank God that I can pray. Even better, I thank God for making sure I know I am a Child of God & that He loves me un-questionably. I thank God for electricity, water & internet because I don't like writing by candlelight & because internet allows for instant gratification/soothing/comfort when ranting. I thank God for my bed & soft comfy pillows that help me to be rested. I thank God for hot water showers that make every day so much better. I especially thank God that before I sleep each night, I'm the lucky parent who gets to hug & kiss & pray with all three of my sons because we're here together.
I have more blessings to be grateful for but those were the ones that really made me cry good tears & release the anger I've been holding towards ... just about everyone.
with love & delicious gratitude~