I have an obsession with jeans.
My obsession is that I want to be able to wear one & look good in it.
These size charts are taken from the LEE Jeans website - which goes to show you what the difference in number can mean.
Women's Plus Size
|SIZE||WAIST (INCHES)||HIP (INCHES)|
|16W||37 1/2 - 38||46 1/2 - 47|
|18W||38 1/2 - 39||47 1/2 - 48|
Women's Regular Size
|16P||34 1/4 - 35||43 1/4 - 44|
|18P||35 3/4 - 36 3/4||45 - 46|
The jeans that are still parked in my closet are a 12.
Last Saturday at the Mall, I saw stacks & stacks of jeans. In the regular section. Had I lost enough inches to fit a pair of regularly sized jeans?
I grabbed a 14, a 16 & a 18. Not the ones marked Plus Size or Women sized. Just regular sizing. Took a deep breath & headed for the fitting rooms. Walked slowly to the last dressing room at the end of the hall. Felt like I was going to my doom.
In some sort of mental haze I tried the largest size first - my logic being that if an 18 isn't going to fit, then there's no hope of fitting into a 16 never mind a 14.
Good God Almighty! It fit!
Okay, so it was long because I'm short (5'1 on a good day) & I don't wear heels. But the point is - I got them up over my taro thighs & buttoned them. That counts in my book as a FIT.
So then I tried on the 16. Sucked my gut in & told myself that it wouldn't be so very bad if they didn't fit.
these fit too!!!
And I saved the best for last... the 14.
I got them up & over & buttoned but I ain't gonna lie & tell you it was a good fit.
Jeans are not supposed to tourniquets.
Maybe if I wore them enough times it would give a little bit & then I could breathe a bit more.
But really? Who needs to breathe if you can fit into a size 14 pair of jeans?
I think honestly that the last time I fit into a 14 was when I was 14 years old. And even then I might not have fit it.
And now the disclaimer: Even though I could fit into all of these jeans without muffin tops or ass spillage - they didn't make my legs or ass look shapely or lifted. They made my bottoms looks squashed. Which is not a look I am interested in.
So as I left the fitting room elated that there are jean sizes I couldn't fit into before - I also realized that just because it fits doesn't mean you should wear it.
And I hung them up on the returns rack.
Why is this whole jeans size number a victory for me?
Because just a few short years ago - they didn't make jeans in my size. Or if they did, they were in sizes I was ashamed to buy in. Instead I wore stretchy pants & knit pants & those horrible awful only fatass people wear them polyester silky lycra blend pants. I remember I even thought about buying a pair of black jeans from the Men's Big & Tall store in town. Big Man Jeans.
*shakes my head* There are some levels of desperate that fat should not drive you too.
I've been there. I know what its like to be fat.
I was that fat girl who:
- you hoped to God did not get the bus seat next to you or else you'd be shoved over by fleshy spillage.
- when I walked by my ass was still jiggling (along with my belly, my boobies, my what evers) & people laughed at me.
- when I found clothes at WalMart/Kmart in the Plus Size section was joyful when I came across a 5x or 6x in shirts or pants & bought as many as I could because you never know when you'd see them again.
- told other fatgirls that if you're gonna give away your clothes, let me know because I want them!
- had to special order her panties from the fatgirl catalogues because stores only stocked up to a size 10 (or maybe a 12 if you were lucky enough to get there before all the other fatgirls bought them out).
- scoped out the seating plans at a restaurant so that I had a arm-less chair because I couldn't slide comfortably in to a booth.
I don't need to do that any more. And God willing I will never need to do that ever again either. I don't even need to shop in the Plus Size women's sections any more.
Which really shocked the hell out of me the other day.
When did this all happen???
Not over night that's for sure. Because nothing happens over night!
Oh! And I can fit into a bikini!
Oh! Was that a fun time in the dressing room!
I about burned my own eyes looking at myself in the mirrors - I couldn't inflict that kind of damage on anyone else!
(Mother Hubbard was shaking her head at me much & much during the bikini sampling)
But no, just because it fits does not mean I have to buy it any more. I have the freedom to choose what to buy.
And this new not as fat as I was? Its taking considerable getting used too. I am always surprised to see my reflection in a window or something as I go by.
(Holy bleeping hell?!? Is that me? When did me look like that? No wonder my kids are paranoid about the clothes I wear or where I wear those clothes when I do go some place.)
Not all my clothes have or need a X in front of the L. Some of them are a M and some of them are a S (mostly the tops & some very stretchy work out yoga tap pants). But a single L? Just regular sized.
I am triumphant! I am fierce! I am so ready to rip it up at the gym!
(I also hold my breath in & cast my gaze around in fear - anxious for some skinny bitch to report me as an impostor. I don't belong here. Security! Please remove the fatso freakass lady from the premises!)
I bought a dress yesterday. For .99 cents. Its a size 10. A real dress like the kind you buy at Neiman Marcus. Which does not have a plus size section last time I checked. I can fit it. Almost. I have too much boobs & back for it. But I can work on that. And then I'll fit it real good & I'll show you all what it does for me.
With love & delicious jeans ~