Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Stopping the Slide up the Scale: WIO & Weigh It In Wednesday

+4.6lbs this past week.

Which isn't great but isn't all that bad either. Especially when you consider I haven't worked out at all in 2 solid weeks or watched what I eat as meticulously as I usually do.

(Never mind that right at this moment, I am eating a homemade cinnamon roll!)

I knew that weight gain was coming because it didn't show up in last weeks weigh in. Still, seeing it on the scale made me go a bit queasy. (I kept saying to myself, please please please don't let me have gained 20lbs!!!)

I am NOT going to beat myself up about it. But let's talk about where this weight gain is really coming from.

Losing weight & getting fit requires from me a level of mental commitment & focus that I am usually very careful to nurture & protect. For me, getting fit isn't just about taking my ass to the gym or walking - its about making myself mentally, spiritually, emotionally & physically balanced.

Balanced & well.

When I tip the scales in any of those aspects, it takes it toll on the other things. Mentally, I over committed my physical self & so basically my mental focus just went on vacation & took my body with it. I'm just about done resting my mind & am almost ready to re-focus my self.

I am always always always aware of how dangerous it is for me to gain weight/lose fitness. If I am not careful, its easy for me to free fall into the fatty Hells. Seriously. All it takes is a month of eating fast foods, candies, cakes & so forth and I'm back in the upper levels of the scale staring at numbers that aren't real to me.

(I haven't even had a candy bar since last March!)

I have been eating a lot of salt... more than sugar or fat, SALT is my number one enemy at the scale. It makes me retain water like a sponge. I'm still drinking anywhere from 1 to 2 gallons of water a day. And eating salty chips, salty crackers, salty Li Hing Mui, salty everything. I've stopped short of pouring salt into my palm & licking it off. (which I don't mind saying, I've done before in a previous unhealthier existence).

I've eaten so much salt, I've burned my tongue on it. Which is really stupid to eat so much salt that I can't taste anything else unless its extremely sugary or saltier.

Getting rid of all the salt or at least reducing my current addiction to it - is what I'm working on this week.

So what now?

The what now is that I take time to enjoy today. Because tomorrow is Sunday & thus a new week. One of the things my nutritionist taught me is to take time out to re-set my mind & that it's always easier to start when you've prepared adequately to begin.

1500/100 starts (again) tomorrow. Which I'm ready for. I'm still going strong on the No DMBC (donuts, Mayo, Butter & Chocolate) for Lent. I'll be back in the weight room on Monday & back into my running program too.

I made a promise to myself years ago when I decided to take charge of my life - I would never ever ever again see my highest weight on the scale again. EVER. It's really easy to get back to 400+lbs if you don't keep track of the pounds one by one.

I chose the pictures above because I don't look my best or fittest in them. It's easy to see my problem areas in them. They make me cringe because in terms of physical goals - I want to drive my fat percentages down but my lower body is hoarding a grand percentage of my body fat. The shirt I'm wearing is a Large & the shorts are also a Large.

To my eyes, I look fat & lumpy & wow! is my butt? Yes it is. (How the hell do I get all that ass into a pair of pants anyhow?)

I was tempted to not post a picture of myself this week but I decided that wouldn't be fair to me. If I can be ballsy enough to post pictures of when I feel good about my body - I can be brave enough to post pictures of when I don't feel my body is good enough.

With Love & delicious lumps in my humps~

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