Friday, January 6, 2012

An unkind word unspoken





I read something earlier that sparked a thought,"The kindest word in all the world is the unkind word, unsaid. — Unknown"


Now why would I attach a photo of desserts with that thought?


Because a kind word is sweet & the unkind word unsaid is probably the sweetest thing one can do for some one else.


What good does a mean word or in my case - a string of mean words do?


(Ok. I'll feel better for about a nano second because I got to yell my head off but in the long run & bigger picture - what's the real objective? Making me feel better or finding a working solution to the issues at hand?)


It's taken a good size dose of maturity to keep silent when someone I know is just itching for a good verbal set down! 


But as I've learned - its easier to keep my mouth shut now at this good young age of 40 than it is to say sorry I hurt your feelings.
KokoSamoa Cupcakes - Just because I'm hungry right now!


It's best for me to let people find out on their own what the truth is. Even if it takes them YEARS to get to it & then have their own Ah ha! moment.


One of the precepts I grew up with as a Mormon in a village populated with other Mormons & going to school with nearly all Mormons was that if we cared about someone in a truly Christ-like manner then it was our spiritual duty to TELL SOMEONE when & where we believed they aren't living the Gospel or being righteous or whatever & whatnot. And to shun them or berate them or harass them if they refused to conform to our beliefs is unkind.


I was 10 years old the first time this happened to me. I was going to eat my lunch in the cafeteria with the rest of my class. Several of them had said their prayer over their food. I did not. Two of them pointedly told me that I wasn't a good Mormon if I didn't pray in public & bless my food. I told them it's none of their damn business if or when I pray. This is a public school & no one - not no damn person could tell me to pray if I refused too. Didn't they know the US Constitution?


This happened repeatedly during my growing years. With more of the What kind of Mormon are you if you don't get up & bear your testimony like all the rest of the young women? & You must be living your life wrong if you're inactive unkind words flung my way by happy caring Mormon people.Not just kids are mean. Adults who should know & do better are pretty good at being unkind.


This kind of spiritual bullying is in my opinion unkind. I think its unkind when people who don't even know you profess to care for your eternal soul & barge right into your life telling you that all you have to do have a better life is accept Christ (the Christ we believe it) and none other. And that if you don't believe in our Christ - you will go to hell. 


I think its even worse when it comes from people you do know who do claim to love you.


For these good meaning well intention-ed kind words from ignorant & compassion-less souls - I offer this: shut up & live your testimony


Your kindness in keeping your opinions of other peoples lives will do more good in the world than all your bible bashing/book of Mormon thumping them over the head can ever accomplish.


Your kindness is saying to someone who's life is not the same as yours or mine or anyone else's is as simple as,"It will get better. Just hang in there a little bit longer."


Your kindness is being the one who hugs the people who feel left out, singled out & left behind by society. You know where they are. You know who they are. It does not matter why or how they got there. It's not your job or mine to say who deserves our time & talents & love & kindness. We are commanded to love one another. That's our job.


Love - true love- like the kind Christ offers is about being good to one another especially when the other person's beliefs & lifestyle are different from yours or mine.


With love & delicious unsaid unkind words~
Cy.

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